Tag: abiding

“The Mom Award”

01/24/2014Sharing the Gospel, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Walk, , , , , , , 16 Comments

If you’re a mom, you’ve probably given yourself one or more, “Mom Awards”. You know the ones I mean: “Worst Mom of the Hour/Day/Week/Month/Year or Decade”; and the most despised: “Worst Mom of the Century”.

I have a closet full! There are days when I received all of them in one afternoon.

I’ll never forget one of the “Worst Mom” awards I received… I gave it to myself the winter before this family photo was taken.

marcia1986

In my defense… it was winter, and it’s not easy being a mom of preschoolers cooped up in the house for days. Danny had developed a habit of masterfully pushing Bobby down every time he saw Bobby standing still. I warned Danny: If you do that again, I’m going to push you!

Danny pushed. Bobby fell and started crying. I gave Danny the “you’re in for it now” look!

Immediately, Danny started to quickly back away, in stocking feet on a vinyl floor. I reached toward him, he lost his balance, slipped, fell and hit his head on the cabinet. He started crying. Bobby was still crying. And I sat down beside them, crying.

That night, sitting between Dan’s bed and Bob’s crib, still crying, I wrote them both a letter of apology in case they ever recalled this horrible day in therapy as adults. I still have the letters. Just in case.

There, it’s out there. I’m the worst mom ever. And, I have more stories I could tell…..

Guilt? Yes! Feeling like a failure? Yes! Like King David, I cried out to the Lord:

“My guilt overwhelms me – it is a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long I walk around filled with grief.” – Psalm 38:4-6 NLT

There is no way to remove the guilt. We may try to cover over it with kind acts – I probably made cookies for them later on, or let them watch their favorite TV show. I may have tried to ease my conscience by telling myself I was doing my best to be a good mom. I had to keep my word. I had to teach Danny right behavior. It was just a little bump. Barely nothing. And surely nothing in the grand scheme of things.  And, while all of that was true, my heart ached because I had hurt my child by my own hand.

There was only one way to remove the guilt: Come to Jesus and confess the sin.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9NIV

“For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean…” – Hebrews 10:22 NLT

As a mom I’ve gotten really good, I think, at asking for forgiveness, both from the Lord and from the boys. Sometimes now, the boys will laugh at me when I bring up long ago events and ask for their forgiveness. It is worth the laughter because I love to dance in the freedom that comes with forgiveness.

MarciaSonsWeddingDance


At a Texas Winery

10/29/2013Spiritual Walk, The Furrowed Brow, , , 8 Comments

My son and daughter-in-law took me to lunch at a winery outside of Austin, Texas for my birthday.  As we were waiting for our reservation, we wandered up and down the rows of harvested vines, enjoying the sunshine, and marveling at God’s handiwork. We also marveled at whatever it was that was coiled around the support wires.

I have to confess, it took us a few minutes to figure out what we were looking at. Coming from Illinois, we’re familiar with barbed wire, but this wasn’t barbed and it wasn’t wire. It was coiled and it was hard, woody even. We finally realized it was the hardened leftover tendrils that had connected the grapevine to the support wires.

 These tendrils were really interesting. Some of the tendrils were multiple coils a couple of inches long, and some were just one or two coils. The tendrils were so hard you couldn’t pull them off the wire, but clearly, they were at one time a part of the vine.

When the tendril was attached to the vine it was flexible, strong, and green. It had use, purpose and worth: it attached itself to the wire supports, fence posts, or whatever else was around, pulled the branches toward the sun, and lifted them up so that the grapes could hang down. It was a necessary part of the grape vine.

However, once the harvest was complete, the tendrils were left behind, separated from the branches and from the vine; useless, worthless and purposeless.

As Christians, attached to Christ, we have use, worth and purpose, but apart from Christ, we can do nothing.

John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

We think we can do things apart from Christ. We have ability, education, great insights, personality, creativity, and generosity. We understand things and teach others, we might even talk to people about Jesus; but our work has no eternal value.

When it is tried by fire, it will burn up, and we will stand before Christ as one escaping the flames with only the ashes of our life’s work to place at his feet.

However, if we remain in Christ, and he in us – not next to him, not drawing our strength from him – but allowing him to live out his life through us, we will continue to bear spiritual fruit that will last for all eternity. Apart from him, we become a hardened, useless, purposeless, worthless piece of dry tendril reminding ourselves of who we used to be, and what we used to do.

Colossians 2:6-7 “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”

The tendrils were interesting, but that is all. Apart from Christ, would we even be that?