Category: Death Grief and Mourning

Christmas Lights

12/13/2013Death Grief and Mourning, Holidays, Sharing the Gospel, , , , , , , 15 Comments

 MarciaTree2013

Dad was an early riser, and every year during the Christmas Season, he’d get up early and turn on all the Christmas lights so that Mom would walk into a brightly lit and festive living room first thing in the morning.

Last week, mom decorated the tree by herself, and at the end of the day, she turned the lights off and went to bed. The next morning when mom got up, she walked into a dark living room. The tree was there, the lights were in place, but everything was still dark when she got up.

We don’t like the dark. Children are afraid of the dark. Bugs come out in the dark. Wickedness happens in the dark. And darkness signals the end of the day. For Mom, the darkness is a reminder that Dad is not there. It is empty in the dark.

When we were little, Dad would bundle us kids up and drive around for what seemed like hours just to look at Christmas lights. Mom didn’t usually go with us, I don’t know why, maybe it was too cold, but when we got home there would be lots of newly wrapped presents under the tree! How did that happen!?

However, throughout the years when it was just mom and dad, mom went on those drives with dad. They had their favorite neighborhoods and houses that they’d drive by and enjoy. One of mom kids will take her out this year.

Christmas lights are a great tradition, yet I wonder, why do we put lights up at Christmas? So I Googled: “Why do we put lights on Christmas Trees?” and an article said, “As Christians, we believe that God is the light of the world.”

By putting lights on our houses and trees, we are testifying to the world: I believe God is the light of the world, and I believe that God came down and lived among us. We are not simply decorating; we are proclaiming truth in a dark world.

John 1:1; 8:12 – In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Matthew 1:23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”)

At Christmas we celebrate the incarnation of the eternal God in the Person of Jesus, who is the Light of the World.

Our Christmas lights shine forth for God because God calls each of His children to be light in the world; we are to let His light shine through us in our words and our deeds. Everything we do as Christians should be done to make God famous.

Matthew 5:16 – In the same way, let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

During Dad’s final days in his body, he said to me, “If I survive this, my house is going to be a beacon for Jesus!” His body didn’t survive, but his soul did, he is brightly priaising Jesus in heaven today! And his house is shining also! The Christmas lights are on again this year, inside and out of Mom and Dad’s house as they always have been.

This year Dad is celebrating with Jesus in eternal light. We know this because Dad believed that God, in the Person of the Lord Jesus, left the glory of heaven, and being made in human likeness, lived a sinless life, humbled himself and died on a cross as Dad’s substitute — paying the penalty for Dad’s sins —  and then he rose from the dead three days later, and now he is exalted in heaven as Lord over all!

Merry Christmas, Dad!

mom, dad and Dan2

Beyond the Dash

11/01/2013Death Grief and Mourning, Gospel, Sharing the Gospel, , , , , 4 Comments

Wednesday was my dad’s birthday. October 30, 1934 – June 14, 2013

His arrival date – dash – his departure date.

It is said we live our lives in the dash. Dad lived almost 80 years worth of life in the dash. There was joy and happiness, pain and sorrow, frustration and fear, love and laughter. Lots of laughter. There was misunderstanding and error, sin and forgiveness.

The Bible says a man’s life is like a breath of air – that puff that lingers on a cold morning – and then it’s gone. I think God tells us this, not so much that we will make all we can of this short time, but so that we will understand and grasp the reality of eternity.

This life is short; but only in light of eternity. We will all live for eternity. The choice we have is: where? Heaven or hell.

There is only one way to heaven: You must accept the sacrifice of Jesus Christ who is, was, and always will be God. Jesus left heaven, as God, and came to earth in obedience, to die on a cross (as God, he is immortal- he was/is eternal, always existing) for the forgiveness of sin. When he died, he carried your sin on his shoulders.

It’s sort of like a ‘balance sheet’. On one side is your sin. On the other is Christ’s righteousness. The books must balance. You cannot pay off your sin. Jesus paid it all. All. Every bit. He died in your place. He paid your penalty. And, therefore, God transfers Christ’s perfect righteousness to your column, and your sin to Christ’s column,

When you accept Jesus’ sacrifice on your behalf you receive his righteousness. You stand before God, justified. God is judge and he, in that moment, judges you fit for his perfect heaven. Then, nothing can separate you from his love. Nothing. Not even your own self, and your sinful actions. Your sin has been removed. And your sinful actions have been forgiven.

When Jesus is your Savior, He must also be your Lord. You commit, in gratitude, to get out of the driver’s seat of your life and let him take over.

One of the last things dad said to me the Saturday before he left was, “If I survive this, my house will be a beacon of light for Jesus!” He meant it! Dad was, and is, saved. He bore spiritual fruit. He reconciled with God and with people.

There were a lot of things ‘in the dash’ that may be hard to understand, or even reconcile — but God knew dad’s true heart. And, in dad’s true heart, he loved Jesus. He had the Holy Spirit living in him. Dad told me once that he pushed the Spirit down for a lot of years — and one can only do that if one knows what he is doing. But, in the end, dad let the Holy Spirit have free reign.

Dad is living beyond the dash. Dad is alive. Dad is singing praises. He is free. He is able to be the child he never could be in this life… he is God’s adopted son. He is co-heirs with Jesus. He is alive.

For Susan

10/11/2013Death Grief and Mourning, The Furrowed Brow, , , , , 12 Comments

The maple tree outside my office window is just starting to show a hint of red. Beyond that, the marigolds that rimmed the beans in the garden are tall and brilliant yellow and orange (though the beans are long gone!). The coneflowers have all gone to seed, and the burning bushes are blazing red. The grass is green and the sky is blue and the breeze coming through the window has just enough coolness to remind me that fall is here!

What a beautiful world God created for us to enjoy!

However, I am reminded yet again that this world, as beautiful as it is, is not as it should be, or will be. This evening, I will be attending the funeral of my dear friend, Susan Foley. We live in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

We think of ‘the valley’ as that place where we must walk just before dying; or that place where those left behind walk as they mourn the passing of a loved one.

The reality is, from the moment we’re born, we are living and walking in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. The shadow of death is ever present, lurking over our shoulders, and reminding us of our mortality. Everything dies. Trees, flowers, pets, people. Death is here.

When God created the earth, it was perfect. But after Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree, death was ushered into creation, and we live in its shadow every day of our lives.

But, we need not fear death. Christ overcame death. When we come to the end of our days in the valley, Jesus welcomes us into his heaven. He has gone ahead of us to prepare a place for us and we know we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Believers don’t die. Our bodies die, and when they do, we close our eyes in this life and open them in eternity.

The last time I visited Susan we mostly talked about Jesus. Susan knew she was going to see him face to face soon, and while her heart broke for those who would mourn her passing, she was excited for herself. She was going to see Jesus!

Susan walked into the arms of her Savior on Sunday morning. She is healthy and well. She isn’t in any more pain. She is free. Free to worship. Free to love completely and purely. Free to sing praises without end. Free to bow low in adoration at Jesus’ feet. Free to smile at Jesus’ face for all eternity.

The party is not here! This is the Valley of the Shadow of Death. This is where fear reigns. This is a fallen world filled with fallen people who endure suffering, pain and tears. The party is in the presence of Jesus!

Until Jesus returns and restores the earth to its former glory, or calls us home, we are just walking through the valley. Home is in heaven.

Dad’s Last Words

10/03/2013Death Grief and Mourning, Spiritual Walk, The Furrowed Brow, , , , , 6 Comments

dadLawrence

I opened my Bible this morning, and saw a note from my dad. It was the last note he wrote to me, “The next time you see me I’ll have new valves.”  It was written on a torn off piece of scrap paper, and he’d just tucked it in with some other things he was mailing. I remember laughing when I read it in June.

And, now, tucked into my Bible, it is the last note I have from my dad. It is a misspelled, torn, priceless treasure. He touched it. He thought it. He wrote it. He sent it to me.

Suddenly, Grief overwhelms me and I can’t breathe. A wave of emotion knocks me off my feet and I feel as if I’m pinned to the ocean floor. I can’t set my feet onto anything solid underneath me and water surrounds me. I gulp for air but I feel like I’m breathing sea water and I want to throw up.

The only thing I can do is cry out, “O God, help me!”

My mind is a jumble of emotions and my heart is breaking. I miss my dad. I feel like I’m being torn apart.  If only I could put my feet on something solid, I could stand up and walk. I don’t want this anymore, I’m tired of grieving.

I pray, “God, you are my only hope.  You are the resurrection. You are life itself. You are eternal. Help me trust in your Word.”

My feet begin to feel the sand beneath me. “God, you are the promise of things to come. You have a hope and a future planned for me, and you will accomplish it.”

The waves start to recede and I stand on shaky knees. “God, you are the Savior. I know Dad is with you. I know he sits at your feet and that he worships you, alive and free. I know he is ok to be little before you.”

When grief overwhelms me, I lift my eyes to the heavens, that is where my help come from. God, the  Maker of Heaven, the Creator of the earth, the Sustainer of all things has sustained me once again.

As I wipe the tears from my face I find myself thanking the Lord, for the wave of grief. Grief reminds me of how much I have loved, and how much I have been loved. It also reminds me that only God can save me, the same God who saved my dad.

In God’s mercy the waves are less frequent and less ferocious than they were when dad first left. In his grace, I am enabled to overcome.

It’s been a while now since dad moved into heaven and most of the waves are small and refreshing, gentle memories of dad. There are stronger waves that continue to hit me at my knee and jostle me a little. And occasionally a wave crashes against my chest and knocks me off my feet for a moment, but rarely am I pinned to the ocean floor.

I am reminded that it is God who is healing me. O God are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me.

If grief causes me to think of dad worshiping at the feet of Jesus, then I am OK to grieve. And, I thank God that I don’t grieve as the world grieves. I thank God that I grieve with hope.

I have my dad’s last words written to me tucked away in my Bible. I have the last words he spoke to me, “I’m going to see Jesus today! I love you, sweetheart” tucked away in my heart.

And I have the written Word of God to reassure, comfort and sustain me through all the trials of life. God is with me, he will never leave me or forsake me. His grace is sufficient for me and the promises of God, my Savior, is the solid ground upon which I stand.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad! Have a wonderful day with the Father!