Brian took me to my very first NBA game on Saturday to see the Chicago Bulls at the United Center. 
Wow! It was an amazing experience.
The arena was decorated with banners and championship trophies all dedicated to the victories and glory of the Bulls! 
Cheering fans raise the roof here!
This morning I had some blood work done in preparation for my physical on Friday. I will sweat it out all week worrying about my cholesterol number!
Why do I fear that number? Could it be my family’s history of heart disease? Or that my dad had his first heart procedure at my age? Or that his cousin died from a heart attack at my age?
I walk. I work out. I watch what I eat (most of the time). I play hard with the grandsons. But my cholesterol numbers remain on the high side, they always have, and I just don’t want to start taking medication for it. Denial? Maybe. Self-deception? Maybe. Not wanting to admit I’m getting older? Maybe.
It doesn’t help that February is American Heart Month. I’d prefer to concentrate on Valentine’s during February, but for some reason, my annual physical has morphed its way into February. And, so on Friday, I’ll get the report. I will find out what is lurking in my blood.
What if we had a blood test that not only revealed the dangers that are coursing through our veins, but the ugliness that is hiding in our hearts? What if instead of triglycerides and glucose we could measure envy and anger? What if we could see the hate, deception, and hypocrisy?
I like to think my heart is not hiding anything from me, but I do know that my heart can deceive me!
The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? – Jeremiah 17:9 NLT
We know most of what is in our hearts. We know the secret thoughts, the schemes, the distrust and the sins we cherish. We know how quickly we lose our temper. We know how the desire for revenge stirs us. We know how good we feel when someone we don’t like fails. We know how well we hide sin.
And, God knows our hearts. There is no secret hidden from God. If we really wanted to know what’s hiding, we don’t need a test, we only need to ask God to show us.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you…” – Psalm 139:23-24 NLT
If you ask, God will show you. You won’t need to sit down and go over the results; God will show you by what you say and do.
“What you say flows from what is in your heart” – Luke 6:45 NLT
“Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23NIV
My blood will be tested this week and I will know what action I need to take to stay, or get, healthy. The first action we must take to have a spiritually healthy heart is to first recognize that it is not healthy apart from God’s healing intervention.
Has God healed your heart? Has he shown you the sin that is killing you? Will you ask him to show you the state of your heart, and will you confess the sin that is hiding there, and ask God to heal and cleanse you?
“Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I [Jesus] have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” Mark 2:17NLT
This was my house on Monday, Feb 10. The sun was shining, and the TV weathermen predicted we’d pass the freezing mark by Thursday! Hope springs eternal!
This is my house on Monday, Feb 17. We still haven’t gotten above freezing, and the TV weathermen tell us we can expect another eight inches of snow.
Ugh! Not again!
What else should I expect? It’s the middle of February in the Midwest. It’s going to be cold. It’s going to snow. This is life… for now. But this isn’t life forever; we know spring will come because God tells us it will.
As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” Genesis 8:22
We wouldn’t for a minute doubt that it will eventually get warm. We can trust God’s Word. What God says always comes to pass. Which is a good thing; because I wonder how often God looks at me and says, “Ugh! Not again!”
How often do I frustrate God? Do I give Him more than enough reasons to think about giving up and moving away from me? Do I push Him to the limit of His perseverance?
When I hoped for a thaw and it only got colder was my frustration as great as God’s when he hoped I would finally learn an important lesson, only to see me fail again …and again?
When I looked for sunshine and saw clouds, was I as disappointed as God was when He looked for me to give Him glory, but instead saw me take credit for a work that He did?
Does God think, “It’s just Marcia! She’s going to fall short, she’s going to disappoint. This is her life… for now. But this isn’t her life forever; I know who I’m making her into, I know who she will be!”
Fortunately God promises me that He will never give up on me. And, He will never give up on you!
“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 NIV
God’s promises enable us to hold out for spring, and they also enable us to hold on to hope that we are not yet who we will become. And, God assures us that He won’t come to an end of patience with believers. He won’t give up on us, because He is…
“The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.” Exodus 34: 6-7 NIV
God knows that we are mere humans, fallen and sinful. God doesn’t wait for us to blossom into beautiful people before He lavishes His love on us. He loves us just as we are, cold, gray, dark and dreary, because He knows the warm, colorful, joyous and beautiful personalities He is developing within us.
Spring is on its way! And we can trust that God won’t give up on you or me, no matter how often we may cause Him to say, “Ugh, not again!”
The temperature is -3 on its way to -18 and I have to apologize to everyone because the cold is my fault.
You see, I’ve been putting off organizing the cabinet under my bathroom sink for months. It’s easy to pretend the mess isn’t there when it’s hidden. And, it’s so easy to hide: just close the door and it’s gone! Outa sight. Outa mind. Life is good.
Until the temps hover below zero for days on end, and the cabinet doors have to stay open so the pipes on the exterior walls don’t freeze.
UGH! There it is, staring at me, daring me to dig deep. What will I uncover? Garish lipsticks, old eye shadow, and duplicate purchases because I forgot what was in there. Bottles of nail polish used just once. Waste and disorder.
It shouldn’t surprise me that God is going to this length to get me to clean, purge and organize the impulse purchases and hidden mistakes in my cabinet. He goes to even greater lengths to get me to look deep into my heart and purge the mistakes (sins) that are hidden there.
He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. – 1 Corinthians 4:5 NIV
God does this. He reveals hidden sin so that I might confess, purge, repent and be cleansed. God causes me to look at the hidden sin in my heart because sin is a barrier that separates me from intimacy with God and God wants a relationship that is free of barriers.
God knows the deepest darkest caverns of your heart and mine. He knows the impulse purchases we try to forget. He knows the garish mistakes. He knows the reality of what is hidden there.
For the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought – 1 Chronicles 28:9 NIV
We may try to hide our sins, but nothing is hidden from God. God won’t let us hide. He loves us and wants us cleansed.
O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you. – Psalm 69:5
We may try to close the door and pretend the mess isn’t there, but God won’t let the door stay closed. He allows circumstances or events in our lives that force us to open the door and confront the reality of sin.
When we acknowledge the mess, confess, and repent, God’s cleansing light of forgiveness floods every deep corner of our hearts.
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. – 1 John 1:9 NLT
God cornered me. He does frequently, and when He does, I cleanse, purge and organize. My heart is good and my cabinet is too. You can expect the temps to start rising any moment!
If you’re a mom, you’ve probably given yourself one or more, “Mom Awards”. You know the ones I mean: “Worst Mom of the Hour/Day/Week/Month/Year or Decade”; and the most despised: “Worst Mom of the Century”.
I have a closet full! There are days when I received all of them in one afternoon.
I’ll never forget one of the “Worst Mom” awards I received… I gave it to myself the winter before this family photo was taken.
In my defense… it was winter, and it’s not easy being a mom of preschoolers cooped up in the house for days. Danny had developed a habit of masterfully pushing Bobby down every time he saw Bobby standing still. I warned Danny: If you do that again, I’m going to push you!
Danny pushed. Bobby fell and started crying. I gave Danny the “you’re in for it now” look!
Immediately, Danny started to quickly back away, in stocking feet on a vinyl floor. I reached toward him, he lost his balance, slipped, fell and hit his head on the cabinet. He started crying. Bobby was still crying. And I sat down beside them, crying.
That night, sitting between Dan’s bed and Bob’s crib, still crying, I wrote them both a letter of apology in case they ever recalled this horrible day in therapy as adults. I still have the letters. Just in case.
There, it’s out there. I’m the worst mom ever. And, I have more stories I could tell…..
Guilt? Yes! Feeling like a failure? Yes! Like King David, I cried out to the Lord:
“My guilt overwhelms me – it is a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long I walk around filled with grief.” – Psalm 38:4-6 NLT
There is no way to remove the guilt. We may try to cover over it with kind acts – I probably made cookies for them later on, or let them watch their favorite TV show. I may have tried to ease my conscience by telling myself I was doing my best to be a good mom. I had to keep my word. I had to teach Danny right behavior. It was just a little bump. Barely nothing. And surely nothing in the grand scheme of things. And, while all of that was true, my heart ached because I had hurt my child by my own hand.
There was only one way to remove the guilt: Come to Jesus and confess the sin.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9NIV
“For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean…” – Hebrews 10:22 NLT
As a mom I’ve gotten really good, I think, at asking for forgiveness, both from the Lord and from the boys. Sometimes now, the boys will laugh at me when I bring up long ago events and ask for their forgiveness. It is worth the laughter because I love to dance in the freedom that comes with forgiveness.
Marcia Furrow 
