There are 37 cabinet doors, and 24 drawers in my kitchen. You need to know this.
You see, a while back as I was taking my vitamins Brian walked into the kitchen, closed the cabinet door where we keep the vitamins and said, “You always leave the cabinet doors open.” Then he walked out.
What?!?! Are you kidding me?! I never leave the cabinet doors open! And I was going to close this one as soon as I swallowed that vitamin!! How could he say that?
Well, on that Sunday morning things changed! I opened every door and drawer as far as possible, then I walked out of the house, got in the car with Brian and left to go to church. Angry.
On the way to church, I realized it was the first Sunday of the month. We would be celebrating communion. And I was angry. Almost immediately, the Lord brought to mind 1 Corinthians 11:27-28 “So then, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup.”
Drat. My heart was not clean. It was full of anger. I prayed, silently, “Lord, I’m sorry I got angry.”
There, now my heart was right. I confessed my anger. I was ‘good to go’. I could participate in the Lord’s Supper with a clean heart. Wrong. In my heart I knew I needed to apologize to Brian.
Instead, I argued with God, “Lord, he said something that made me mad. I shouldn’t have to apologize to him for getting angry. Besides, he doesn’t even know I’m angry!”
The Lord didn’t buy my defense. Maybe my initial ‘prayer of confession’ wasn’t quite genuine. Or maybe if I didn’t ‘come clean’ with Brian, I would secretly nurse the anger, and let a root of bitterness get started.
So, I apologized to Brian, who had no idea what I was talking about, and he said everything was OK.
Whew! Now, all was good, I could take communion with a clean conscience.
We walked into church, we sang, I was worshiping my Precious God, and then he brought to mind Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
What??? Did I have to tell Brian about the doors and drawers? Nope. No way. Not gonna happen. Besides, I thought, he was wrong! I don’t leave the doors open. I always close them. And, it’s not a sin to leave them open, even if I did… which I did that morning.
The pastor prayed and passed the elements. My heart was not clean. I had deliberately opened those drawers and doors just so that Brian would be angry when he got home and saw them.
I jotted on the bulletin, “I opened every cabinet door and drawer in the kitchen and left them open. I’m sorry,” and handed it to Brian. Did he just stifle a laugh????
When the bread and cup were handed to me I received both, and thanked my precious Savior for shedding his blood on the cross so that my sins were forgiven. All of them. Anger. Self-righteousness. Disrespecting Brian. Disrespecting the Lord. Bitterness. You name it.
As soon as we got home, I closed every drawer and door in the kitchen before Brian saw them… because, after all, I never leave them open!